It’s 7 pm, and you pull out your phone for a quick break.
You blink twice and suddenly, it's 11 pm. You’re still on the couch, trapped. Shaming yourself for everything you didn’t do for the last 4 hours.
We’ve all been there.
Especially when I was at Meta, I'd finish a few hours of debugging, feel mentally fried, and reach for my phone. Only to scroll endlessly until bedtime.
We think we need to fight the brain here, but what if it’s doing exactly what it's supposed to?
Seeking the stimulation it needs to function.
Here’s a solution that makes it easy to stop infinite scrolling. Minimal willpower required.
The Two-Part Problem
I’m embarrassed to share this, but my phone screen time used to be over SIX hours per day. That’s over 3 MONTHS of the year, without sleep.
At first, I tried blocking all the worst offenders. Instagram/TikTok, X, YouTube, etc.
It was a struggle to cut one hour out. I would mindlessly open X every free moment until the blocker pop-up would force me to reconsider.
Then, the simplest thing happened.
I went on vacation. That week, I chopped my screen time in half without even trying.
Decades of behavior change research and lived experience come to the same conclusions. Restriction alone isn't the answer.
Once you cut, you have to replace.
“Download an app blocker to punish yourself for trying to open an app” is hard.
“Look up from your phone to see this incredible nature and immerse yourself in a totally new culture you’ll only get to experience once in years” is stupidly easy.
Here’s a simple 2-step framework to make getting off your phone as easy as going on vacation.
Bad Dopamine vs Good Dopamine
Almost every activity gives your brain some amount of dopamine.
Even meditation can give you dopamine.
Not all stimulating activity is bad. Instead, we can consider healthy versus unhealthy sources of stimulation.
Phones give you quick, intense dopamine hits, kind of like sugar. You feel great in the moment, but the calories are empty because the rewards are high and temporary. The more you have it, the more you crave it.
Healthy dopamine sources give you long-lasting rewards. Once you stop, the effects are actively beneficial to your life.
Just like sugar, you can indulge in the phone scroll sometimes, but in excess, your body feels horrible in the long term.
Step 1: Build a Dopamine Menu
There’s a split second between:
The time you look at your phone
The time you decide to pick it up
My goldfish brain doesn’t remember if or what I ate for breakfast. There’s no chance I’ll remember “healthy dopamine” option in less than a second without help.
So step 1 is to build a dopamine menu.
Create a list of dopamine options, that you can “order” from, just like at a restaurant.
It might look something like this.
Appetizers (1-5 mins)
Super quick <5 min options you can pick from on breaks. I use these as rewards for finishing blocks of focus time.
Healthy, fun snack
5-min walk/dance break
5-min timer to respond to messages
Quick stretch
Entrees (30+ mins)
Activities that excite you and help you make progress on long-term goals. These usually take notable effort, but that effort is what makes completing them especially rewarding.
Physical exercise
Flow state/focus session
Social connection
Learning something new
Sides (Ongoing)
Fun activities you can add to things that you’re already doing. These help make boring tasks more exciting.
Listening to music while working
Using a standing desk
Fidget tools during meetings
Make a smoothie to go with boring tasks
Desserts
Activities you enjoy that don’t really help you make progress on long-term goals. It’s okay to do these in moderation.
Scrolling on social media
Mindless games
Online shopping
But even with this menu, a lot can go wrong between you wanting to do the thing, and actually doing it. Eliminating friction between activities is an absolute necessity.
The last step is to design an brain-friendly environment.
Step 2: Redesign Your Environment
As a rule, make every menu item easy to start.
Some inspiration from what I’ve been doing recently:
Put the books I’m reading out in plain sight, where I have to see them multiple times a day.
Created a list of friends to call for breaks or accountability.
Regularly update an growing list of coffee shops and libraries to work out of. If I get bored, I let myself switch locations.
Bookmarked a 10 minute YouTube workout I can start with a single button click.
And that’s it! Have fun and get creative with this.
Remember, your brain wants to do these things.
You just need to help it out.
This Week: For You
Take 5 minutes to design your own dopamine menu. If this is totally new to you, start with just a few options.
Write it down, print out, and/or engrave this menu somewhere you can see it.
When you feel the urge to scroll, look to your menu instead.
Hi, I’m Kat! Welcome to my newsletter—your weekly dose of strategies to work with your extra-interesting brain, not against it.
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— Kat