I teetered on the balls of my feet, struggling to stand my ground. Every neuron in my brain screamed at me to stop holding my pose. This can’t be right. This is so awkward, I must look so stupid. Everyone is looking at me.
“STAY!” My dance coach’s voice pierced through the cloud of doubts.
It’s ironic isn’t it? Years of practice and the hardest thing about dance was—staying still.
When was the last time you were comfortable simply standing by your ideas? Not immediately wavering on your own thought as soon as it materializes? Standing your ground, especially when someone questions your stance?
In dance and in life, I’ve dealt with a lot of self-doubt and criticism. I’ll often come up with ideas and immediately think, “that’s stupid.” Or, “what makes you think you could even accomplish that?”
Maybe it comes from formative experiences, maybe it comes from societal expectations. I can blame others all I want, but the truth is, I’m my own worst critic.
My dance coach shook his head as I stood there like a deer in the headlights. Seeing the my internal struggle, he gave me this exercise.
“Name a professional dancer, say Brandi. How would you dance if your only goal was to dance like her?”
Brandi is a professional dancer known for her patience. She is a master at asserting her ideas, and standing by them. Well, here goes nothing.
I pretended to be Brandi.
In just 90 seconds, I instantly stood up straighter, took up more space, and in every pose I hit, I waited. A lot.
It was far from perfect, I didn’t suddenly become Brandi, but I looked and performed. SO. MUCH. BETTER. Without any additional technique or skill.
I became better, just by pretending I was better. By pretending my ideas were as good as that of a professional, and that I did have the confidence to stand my ground and hold that damn pose.
It turns out, this is a common performance psychology technique used by high-level athletes. The goal is to mimic the body language of a champion-level athlete, or outside of sports, someone you admire. The idea is that acting confident first can generate feelings of confidence.
In other words, you don’t have to feel confident before you can act confident.
This Week: Try It Yourself
Forget “fake it till you make it.”
Steal someone’s identity.
The next time you’re giving a big presentation, assigned to a big project, or trying something completely new, try this trick. Just pretend to be that person you admire or aspire to be for a few minutes. How would they stand, talk, and act?
If someone else can move through life with that level of self-conviction, why can’t you?
Steal their confidence until it becomes your own confidence.
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— Kat