“I don’t like bending my knees to get lower, so I prefer do the splits instead.”
He jumped from one foot to another, squatted, and waved his arms while the dance instructor talked. His first sentence to me was, “Hi, I have ADHD.” People probably thought he was weird and annoying because of what he was doing.
Or interesting and engaging because he was so upfront about it.
Hi, it’s been a minute. If you’re new here, welcome!
I just got back from a much-needed break. Although I didn’t write much during my travels, I met many people with ADHD who inspired me through their experiences.
Hopefully you can learn something from them too.
When You Excel at Unconventional
Imagine being good at things most people think are incredibly hard. Like the splits.
But also bad at what most people think is easy. Like bending your knees.
Sometimes that’s what life with ADHD is like.
This stranger was an ex-professional skier and ex-professional American football player. Except not American. Now he manages people. He was obviously hyperactive, but everything he chose to do played into his hyperactive strengths.
An ADHD friend I was traveling with struggled with time blindness.
We found she struggled to do “basic” tasks on time in isolation. But because she’s highly motivated by social interactions and being a great friend, she’s also a super connector. When involving others, ADHD didn’t seem like a problem at all.
Another stranger I met has both ADHD and dyslexia. He was diagnosed early, and his parents put him through a special education. He learned how to read exclusively through comic books. He can’t read music, but can play multiple instruments because he experiences the sounds visually.
ADHD and Dopamine
Rather than trying to fit your brain into the wrong mold, learn how your brain works, and find a different mold for it.
ADHD research suggests that many attention and motivation issues are caused by dopamine dysregulation. This means that while a non-ADHD brain might be able to “just do the thing,” an ADHD brain might need it to feel extra “fun” first.
Many commonly used ADHD strategies target natural ways to boost your brain’s reward pathways, and help explain why my friends’ strategies worked.
Physical activity can give you dopamine
Social interaction can give you dopamine
Additional sensory experiences can give you dopamine
ADHD is a complex label, so what works best for one person isn’t always going to work with the next person.
However, you can experiment.
Weird, fun strategies can actually regulate your brain and help it focus, complete tasks, and learn more effectively.
Emphasizing Your Strengths
The next time you put yourself down for being unable to do something the conventional way, try to reframe your alternative way as a strength.
“I need to sit still to fit in and do what is expected of me.”
“My hyperactivity is perfectly suited for roles in fast-paced environments.”
“How can I find ways to incorporate more movement or novelty into my job?”
“I should be able to do most tasks on my own through sheer willpower.”
“I’m really good at making social connections and involving others.”
“How can I coordinate more group experiences that are aligned with my goals?”
“I need to force myself to focus long enough to read long blocks of text.”
“I’m very creative and can make a lot of visual and auditory associations.”
“How can I use more pictures and abstract concepts to help my brain learn faster?”
At the end of the event, I asked my dance friend what the helped most after his ADHD diagnosis in his mid-30’s. He reply was simple.
“Forgiving myself.”
Definitely easier said than done, but clearly possible.
There isn’t a right or wrong way. Just your way.
This Week: For You
What is something you feel like you’re “bad” at compared to other people? How can you reframe it into something you’re actually good at?
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— Kat