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Last week, I ADHD-ed so hard I was 1 hour and 58 minutes late to a 2-hour ADHD coworking session.
It was extremely embarrassing. Was it still a win?
Yes.
Rather than face the 10 coding bugs I should have already fixed, or my newsletter draft that certainly wasn’t good enough, cleaning my apartment seemed like the better option.
I missed every “reasonable” 30-minute mark to get started, so maybe I should just give up and try again tomorrow.
But I joined anyway, with 2 minutes left, and ended up sprinting through my main task in the next hour.
Before this, nobody would join late—they would just skip. Now, I almost make it a point to join with 45 minutes left, or 10, or 2. People started following suit.
Something is always better than nothing. Even two minutes.
But here's the real question. Why is it so hard to get started in the first place?
The Emotional Component of Task Avoidance
Often, focus isn't the real issue. It's avoidance.
It’s not a logical problem you can brute force your way through. It's an emotional one.
The task feels daunting, unclear, high-stakes.
Your brain labels it as a threat.
You avoid the perceived threat.
Which makes it feel more daunting, more unclear, with even higher stakes.
On the surface, avoidance looks like anxiety, laziness, or distraction.
Underneath, this is what’s actually going on:
Shame — "What if I uncover a problem I can't solve? That confirms I'm an imposter."
Perfectionism — "If I can't do this at 100%, I'm already a failure."
Disappointment — "What if the task wasn't even that bad? Then I wasted all that time for nothing."
Judgment — "Other people will see how far behind I am."
Overwhelm — "What if I actually do well, and I can't handle the increased expectations?"
Step one: name the emotion.
Facing It (Without Fixing It)
Facing negative emotions is hard for everyone. But ADHD brains struggle with emotional dysregulation. So the impulse to avoid them is even stronger.
The fix isn't to eliminate the fear. It's acceptance.
What that looks like in practice:
Shame — You will uncover problems you don't know how to solve. Nobody knows what they're doing on their first try.Perfectionism— You won't do it perfectly. "Perfect" doesn't exist. Imperfect just means human.Disappointment— Those two wasted hours are gone, and that's disappointing. But your past doesn't have to dictate your next two hours.Judgment— You are where you are, regardless of where other people are. The more you focus on them, the less energy you have to focus on yourself.Overwhelm— If you do a good job, expectations will increase. But in doing well, you also gain the skills to handle what comes next.
Even in missing 99% of a coworking session, you still break the avoidance cycle. You showed up.
Pushing past the shame, the embarrassment, the judgment of being "so late," and starting anyway, that's the win.
Assemble Clarity, the ADHD Way
So you feel better and have stopped shaming yourself. Now what?
ADHD brains struggle to hold the full picture of a complex task. Low working memory makes big, ambiguous projects feel impossible before you've even opened a new tab.
You have a foraging, hunter-like, explorer-type ADHD brain. Think like an explorer.
Inch your way in.
Can't see where you're going? Take one step in any direction and clear the path forward three steps at a time. Eventually you'll find a clearing.Defeat all-or-nothing thinking.
Taking the wrong path doesn't mean failure. It means you mapped out what doesn't work. Do it messy, scrap together bits of progress in any way you can. Every misstep is information. You're still closer to the gold than you were before.Flex along a rough plan.
Find some high ground and survey the landscape. You need a general direction, not an optimal path. A high-level overview will save you lots of time and headache, but is enough to get moving.
Once you clear the emotional obstacles and get clarity, there’s nothing left to avoid.
And sometimes, the only move is to just full send it. Tap into your most impulsive energy and start somewhere. Anywhere. Even if it's two minutes.
P. S. ADHD Tools that Actually Work: Wispr
If I had to recommend a single AI tool for ADHD (task initiation, externalizing, brain dumping, reducing friction), it would be Wispr.
My ADHD founder friends and I use it every day. Check it out for free below.
4x your communication output. Same quality. No burnout.
The bottleneck isn't what you want to say — it's how long it takes to type it. Wispr Flow removes the bottleneck.
Speak naturally and get polished, send-ready text for executive summaries, client updates, board recaps, investor notes, or just the 30 Slack messages you're behind on. Flow strips filler, formats numbers and lists, and preserves your tone.
Used by teams at OpenAI, Vercel, and Clay. 89% of messages sent with zero edits. Works in every app on Mac, Windows, and iPhone.
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— Kat